Kol Nidrei Address by Chairman of the Board Mark First
Mark First, Chairman of the Board
September 24, 2023 ~ 10 Tishrei 5784
by Rabbi Ethan H. Witkovsky
There are certain features that appeared every year at my family’s Thanksgiving dinner table: there were beautiful place settings, delicious food, friends and family, and of course, a kiddush cup. The Torah does not mention the fourth Thursday in November, and Thanksgiving is never on a Friday, but there it is every year at our table: one of the family kiddush cups. My mother points to it and says, “Should we make a kiddush?” Because, for my mother, every festive meal has to begin with kiddush. I will admit that more often than not my brother and I poked fun at our mother when she insisted upon this addition to the American holiday. However, as I reflect back on those meals and on the nature of Thanksgiving, I realize that my mother was expressing her gratitude and encapsulating the spirit of the day in a way that Jews have known about for years.
The rabbis in the Talmud assert that “anyone who benefits from something in this world without blessing it first, it is as if they stole from God.” (Babylonian Talmud Brachot 35a) The proof they offer is that the assertion that “The Earth is the Lord’s and the fullness thereof.” (Psalms 24:1) Everything belongs to God, and unless we say a blessing we are stealing the Lord’s property. By saying a brakhah like hamotzi or kiddush, we are thanking God for sharing the world with us and expressing our gratitude that we are allowed to eat food that is not really our own. These blessings, recited before every meal, are meant to remind us that we are guests on this earth and should be grateful for our lot.
Rituals like kiddush and the blessings after the meal are a means of instilling the value of gratitude in our very souls. Recent studies show that people who feel gratitude tend to be happier and healthier, which is science proving what the ancients already knew. As Cicero said: “Showing gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the mother of all the others.” (Pro Plancio 33:80) We know that grateful hearts are wise, kind, and resilient, and we want our children to embody these attributes. As we sit down this month to, please God, tables full of friends, family, and food, let us also make sure to make gratitude a part of the meal. There are many ways to do this. There is the tried-and-true method of going around the table and saying something we are grateful for. Or in a kind of reverse Yom Kippur, we could reflect on the year, and before Thanksgiving perhaps get in touch with the people who have helped us and express our thanks. Or if you cannot think of anything else, it is totally fine to fall back on the rituals of gratitude known to our people for generations: get the kiddush cup off the shelf and bring it to the table.
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Use this source sheet of classic texts about gratitude compiled by Rabbi Witkovsky as a guide for discussion at your family table.